2024, that's a wrap
Taking inventory is good medicine and even better magic
I have a hard time looking back at my own life and taking stock. Somehow I conflictingly believe that 1) remembering the value of the accomplishments, lessons, triumphs, and difficulties in one’s life is the most important thing and 2) I never take time to do this for myself. I guess this is why I teach a monthly integration class - you sometimes teach what you need most in your life. But, I digress.
This was a big year for me and it is worth recapping. My life could not be more different today than a year ago. I had a cushy, fun, corporate dream job and I had been promoted to an even better one at the end of last year, and yet, I knew in my bones that I couldn’t keep it. In February, I left Beam Suntory to pursue my art full time and in many ways, it was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I loved that company, I would have loved doing the job I had been promoted into, and in so many ways it was a dream come true. But it was not my dream. My true dream began to gnaw at me from the inside out, devouring my very being if I didn’t finally give it the time and attention it deserved. My art was done taking the back seat and my family and I have utterly rearranged our lives for it.
For the next two months after I quit, I was going through what I can only describe as a stress die-off, much like a toxin die-off when you do a pretty intense detox routine. You feel way worse before you feel better. Michael said it best that all of a sudden, the pitbull in my mind had nothing to do, and it was attacking and latching onto any problem it could sink its teeth into, no matter who’s it was. You see, I had been marketing with and project managing several agencies, collaborating with over a dozen different stakeholders, and managing multiple of my own projects at a time, all the while mothering baby Hawk full-time at home and finding time to paint in the evenings and weekends. Then suddenly, I was being a mom and painting. That’s it. I can’t overstate the shock of the whole thing and how it felt like I went from moving full speed in a Formula 1 race car to wondering why my carriage drawn by a billy goat wasn’t moving fast enough.
Slowly though, my nervous system relaxed and my internal pitbull calmed the fuck down. I can feel her getting belly rubs now and it is quite a nice change. No one can work like that without becoming utterly burned out and that’s where I was headed. Slowing down has been the biggest gift, even if it does come with its own set of challenges in a world that does not value that at all.
But in a day and age where the amount of pressure being put on everyone just keeps increasing, it feels like an act of rebellion, a true revolutionary stand to slow down, take time, and actively not assign value to quantity of output or feel courageous for how stressed we are. However obvious it is to say that, it has been a huge lesson to unlearn the conditioning that I have fallen into that had me believing it all hook, line, and sinker.
As part of this transition, I was so grateful to be the recipient of the Northern California Women’s Caucus for the Arts Mentorship program. I met with my mentor, Sawyer Rose, monthly for 6 months, and with her guidance, she helped me envision a new way to conceptualize my art and where and how I want to share it. It was exactly what I needed to think bigger for myself and put all of my marketing know-how to work for myself.
I have been blessed to be in several incredible shows this year.
I took on some private students and I am so excited about how incredibly they are doing. I really love teaching and this is definitely something I want to do more of next year.
This is my student, Jennie’s work. She has never done a mische technique painting before and I am continually blown away at how powerful her work is.
I managed to do a YouTube video each month. If you haven’t checked out my channel, I do free Mische Technique educational videos if you are interested in the technique.
I completed 14 original works of art this year, including two commissions.
I curated four shows at Alembic, finishing off the year with an incredible show featuring the members of the Society for Art of Imagination. I am incredibly pleased to announce that I am now on the board of the Society as well. So much excitement and news on that end to share soon!
Here are some highlights from a year’s worth of Alligtor Lizards classes, my monthly art integration classes at the Alembic in Berkeley. The next one is January 25th if you are local, 1-3pm in Berkeley. Come hang out and make some art with me and learn to use art as a vehicle to dialogue with visionary, mystical, and dream states.
And to finish out the year, I get to finally share an incredible project I was selected to be in. The Unity Oracle Deck from Blue Angel Publishing is going to be out March 2025. My painting, Green Tara was selected to be a part of the deck.
As always, thank you so much for being here on this wild ride. I am so grateful for the ability to share my words, my thoughts, my images, and my life with you.
I want to wish you a thriving 2025. The astrological space weather is going to be pretty, um, exciting, so hold on to your horses the first few months of the year! I wish for you all an alignment with your true dreams. May they be the guiding star to your abundance and happiness.
xoxoxo