Give Me Myself Again
The Phoenix
Death and rebirth, light and dark, positive and negative are all coexisting opposites seeking balance throughout eternity. When we move beyond our normal state of existence, we realize that there are common intrinsic symbols that we as human beings have conjured up throughout our history. We’ve cast them in folklore, myths, religions and dreams revealing humankind’s tendency to tap into the stream of life. When we awaken our inner being, we begin to see the similarity and connection of not only our material world but the world of the metaphysical as well. We all have the seeds for higher consciousness in the very core of our being, as we gaze into the vast expanse, seeing beyond the limitations of our sight.
The Phoenix is a character in our collective unconscious and one that has found a home throughout time in every culture’s myths, legends and folklore. Symbolically, it relates a tale of death and rebirth, a theme dating as far back to the very beginnings of conscious mankind, transforming into an essential role in all of the major religions and ideologies and even sustaining itself amongst popular culture.
Just as the phoenix rises from the ashes, renewed and shining as before, we can harness opportunities in our lives that seem bleak, dark, and draining to turn it around and rejuvenate ourselves, and become again the person we really are. We can decide that today is the day to brush off the staleness and dust and immerge reborn, blinking as we step into the sunlight of a new day.
This painting is very much a self-portrait not only in appearance but in theme as well. My life is dictated by powerful moments and periods of death and rebirth where I experience both conditions very poignantly. I depict myself burning and disintegrating below and from those flames, I am reconstructed again, first through bone, then arteries and veins, then layer by layer of muscles and then skin. My hair forms the crown of the White Tara, the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Compassion. I depict myself as white as well for the many references the color white has, purity, rebirth, renewal, divinity, as well as the color of a freshly blooming lotus. The wings reference birds in their association with the spiritual quest. Throughout time they have been used as symbols for the soul, for our higher selves, and for our quest to transcend. There is also a very clear angel reference for those of us in the Western mindset. It all simply means that each rebirth incarnation manifests in a slightly higher level of awareness and accomplishment if you play your cards right and that the aspirations for greater knowledge and broader spiritual growth are inherently present.
The painting is done on canvas and then I sewed the crochet lace detailing onto it as you can see below. The crochet is hand done by me, of course. The tapestry element of the painting harkens to the Tibetan Thankga paintings which are objects for meditation visualizations as well as maps of visionary journeys taken by the meditator personally. This condition holds true for my own painting which can be looked at as an inspiration along the path as well as my own journey in this life.
Also, if you recognize the title at all, it is a song lyric from Little Earthquakes, one of my favorite Tory Amos songs which I was listening to on repeat when I painted this.
This is baby me in 2007 in Saeby, Denmark where I participated in an Art of Imagination exhibition. I also have a photo standing next to this painting when it was on exhibit at the H.R. Geiger Museum in Gruyeres, Switzerland in 2006 while Geiger was still alive. I’ll need to dig that one up. That whole thing is worth a post onto itself.
Here is this week’s YouTube instructional video where I begin a completely visionary painting. This piece has no references, just what my mind’s eye sees in the Imaginal from this vision. I show how the mische technique works in this way as well.
Lastly, news from the real world. I will be doing an in-person workshop from September 29th through October 1st at The Berkeley Alembic. More details coming soon but mark your calendars if you’d like to attend!