"Tutu Raka"

And the spell of seeing

Thank you all for your patience while I get back on my feet, literally. Slowly but surely, I am getting back to health. But I do still want to share how wonderful the first half of August was in Costa Rica.

The two weeks we spent there were incredible. When we first arrived, I signed off to do a media cleanse, which was amazing. I can’t recommend it enough if you get the chance. I am attempting to glorify just staring at stuff again. Like, for real. Don’t look at your phone in the awkward in-between times. Just stare at something, anything, the floor, a person, a bird, clouds, an ant, anything. I made an effort to just be with myself and my surroundings in all of my downtime, which was more than expected - turns out the ocean waves and sun of Costa Rica (or “Tutu Raka” as baby Hawk calls it) tuckers a little guy out and he took 3-hour naps every day. Bless me. I wish he took 3-hour naps every day!

You can’t take the shells home from Costa Rica. To be fair, you should never take shells from the beach from anywhere you travel. Shells literally make the beach and are vital to the ecosystem etc. etc. so leave them there (virtually slaps your hand to throw them back). But they are sooooooo compelling. I want all of the shells all of the time. So instead of collecting them to take home, I took a few each day, brought them back to our hotel room, and during those glorious 3-hour naps, I would paint those shells while listening to maybe one of the most amazing books I have ever read, An Immense World by Ed Young.

Ok, I can’t resist one story from the book. Giant Squid have the largest eyes of any creature on earth. The optimal maximum size for an eye, no matter the size of the critter, for a variety of science reasons, is three inches wide. So the Giant Squid’s basketball-sized eyes are a conundrum. They live in the deepest gloom of the ocean and most animals down there don’t even have eyes. But a recent theory along with intriguing test results may have solved the puzzle. Basketball-sized eyes are good for seeing one thing in the darkest depths of the ocean - and that is the slight bioluminescent glimmer of something very large moving through the water. What do Giant Squids need to see that for, you ask? What would be large enough to make such bioluminescence occur? A Sperm Whale. And Giant Squids are the only being down there that needs to worry about a Sperm Whale coming at them, so they evolved eyes specifically to see them. How cool is that?

But speaking of eyes, here is a quote I listened to at least five times and wrote in my sketch book:

“The simple act of seeing recolors the world. Guided by evolution, eyes are living paintbrushes. Flowers, frogs, fish, feathers, and fruit all show sight affects what is seen and much of what we find beautiful in nature has been shaped by our fellow animals. Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, it arises because of that eye.”

Just read that again, slowly. The implications of that are staggering on some level. I had to sit there and stare out the window and just be with that idea for about ten minutes. It’s just so incredibly amazing. The act of sensing is not passive.

And this while I was pouring over every little detail on my collected shells to paint them. It is an interesting way to keep something. It was actually more intimate than if I had just hoarded them home and put them in a pile somewhere. I got to really examine, stare, and visually take in each one of these beautiful specimens and pay attention to every nook and cranny. It was satisfying enough that I had zero trouble tossing them back on the beach the next day.

Well, except for this one above. This one I really coveted. It was about 9 inches from tip to tip and weighed a hefty pound and a half. This shell was no joke and it served as our altar for the duration of the trip. I tossed it back the last day with an invocation to Hermes, praying for an easy travel home.

We did have an easy travel home, considering both Hawk and I were sick. I don’t know about you all, but as a Mercury retrograde native, retrogrades never bother me. But this one? Whoa. I pulled a card while laying in bed at home about what this retrograde was about for me and got the 10 of Swords. Funny tarot. I get it, I had to get off my feet. The first week of vacation, literally the day Mercury went Rx, I hurt my knee in the waves and had to ice my knee three times a day for it to heal. Second week I stubbed my toe so hard I had to switch from my knee to my foot and well, you know how the last phase of the retro went for me. Sheesh. I hope you all survived. I’m just awaiting next week when Mercury goes out from it’s shadow period and is free from all of this.

I’m back at the easel and working on the first layer of white on both the Eleusis painting and Simhamukha, the Lion-headed Queen of the Dakinis. I’ll share those once this step is complete.

I’m also working on some fun things for my Etsy shop. I listed the shell drawings on there too if you fancy one of them for your home.

And thank you to everyone who came to the Harvest opening at The Alembic! It was such a great success. My amazing assistant, Maoya, one of the people without whom the opening would not have occurred (the other being Michael - I can’t thank you enough for all of your help) said that everyone there was in such a good mood. “It worked!” she said. The show was meant to pump some vibrant, abundant, flourishing vibes out and it worked. The show is up until November so go see it if you have a chance.

I’ll leave you with one beach selfie. Until next week!

xo

Krisztina