Winter Garden
Nurturing through the darkness
Winter and Garden aren’t words that generally go together. But I guess they do in Northern California so we are giving it a shot. I realized as I was filling up our planter bed with compost that this endeavour is a good metaphor for what I have been going through. See, I’ve never done a vegetable garden before. House plants - check. I have over 100 and we essentially live in what looks like a jungle inside. Outdoor plants - getting there. This has been a whole new realm of getting to know our land, soil, sun and moisture and how to care for things that also get cared for by the elements. It’s a growth curve and I’m getting the hang of it. Vegetables? I literally don’t know the first thing in real-life experience. I have watched copious amounts of permaculture videos over the last several months but there’s nothing like actually doing something to learn how it really works.
Here’s my face since I haven’t included it in one of these yet. Howdy!
And what a time to plant, as the season shifts slightly from the blazing hot sun to a cooler calmer season. Kind of the opposite of what I would expect. But I had an urgency to get these seed in the ground, an urgency to dig my hands in the soil and a whole body need to try and grow during the time when most things begin to slow down.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what “having it all” means. As a comic I saw on Instagram said, “when was the last time you went to an all-you-can-eat buffet and felt good about yourself?” To totally beat this metaphor into the ground, my eyes were larger than my stomach and I piled my plate too high and now I am FULL. While I sit here digesting, I have time to think about how I want to create what is coming next. In fact, some of what is taking up so much space is what is going to carry me into this next thing, this platform being one of them. See, I have 3 full-time jobs and one part-time job at the moment. My full-time jobs are: corporate marketing, art and mom. I also am a part-time curator.
I worked for the last 10 years to build that corporate marketing career. Why? Because I needed a business and marketing education that my BFA and MFA didn’t provide me. So instead of getting yet another degree, I have gotten paid to learn all of the information I’ve needed. Art is a non-negotiable for me. I have literally tried to stop painting and I just can’t. Horrible things happen and I go slightly insane (that will be its own post one of these days). It’s who I am to the core to make art and this in fact is my purpose, to make the world a more beautiful place. Motherhood, despite having help from my amazing husband, is a 24-hour full-time gig. Getting reliable hired help is difficult but also, I just want to be there for my baby. And I curate for an incredible space my husband and two other co-founders are building in Berkeley called The Alembic (more on this later too). These are all amazing, full-filling and beautiful things and any one of them would feel like my life is rich and lush and filled with gratitude. My cup is running over so much I am filling an ocean.
I’ve built and built and built and I am in many ways enjoying the fruits of all of my labor. I have worked so hard, so very hard. One thing I have learned from all the permaculture videos is about composting. Growing up in the woods in Ohio, my parents had a compost pile which I witnessed but took for granted. Thinking back on it now, that pile was and still is, a force of nature. It’s all about the compost when growing things. And what is compost? Rotting stuff. What is rotting stuff? The overflow, the excess, the too much.
We tend to think of rotting as bad. But being an advocate of the alchemical negredo phase as well as the Death Tarot card (which never means death), going into the fermentation stage is when the dissolution, the undoing, the true building blocks of life occur. Perhaps that is where I am with all of this. I have harvested my bounty and am enjoying the cornucopia that is overflowing. But I can’t keep it all. Some of it must go to the compost heap and I can tell you it’s not my kid (lol!) or my art.
As I dug my hands into the heaping pile of compost I planted our seeds in and watched my one-year-old eat an entire fistful of the stuff, I felt like this was a beginning slowly, softly sprouting within an ending. Something I have been dreaming of and diligently planning is to create a sustainable version of my art business. Sustainable in that I am not just replacing one stress-inducing job with a self-inflicted one. Sustainable in that it is financially stable as well as soul-nourishing. I know that is asking a lot but I believe, no, I know it is possible. This is what I am incubating in my winter garden. This is what I am tending to as the days grow shorter and the nights longer and colder. And over time, as the sturdy, root vegetables and leafy greens begin to awaken enveloped in their dark and nutritious surroundings, my plans will be taking shape that will usher in a new path forward.
Being here on this medium means you are along for the ride and I am grateful to you for that. Your support in my work means very much to me and means that I can keep taking one step after another towards a radical and nourishing life.
Here is this week’s YouTibe video where I talk about how to add an element to your painting once the technique is already farther along…
My in-person workshop is just around the corner! I would love to work with you.
And last but definitely not least, the CALL FOR ART is live! The next show at The Alembic is theme on The Thunder, Perfect Mind.
Find out more details and SUBMIT HERE
🌱✨✨✨INCUBATE THAT INTENTION!✨✨✨🌱